I guess thats how i should describe it. few people that ever exists in my life, gave me a significant impact on how i react towards their behaviour.
it is not about me, it never was. But when you started to get along with me, doesn't matter as a friend, good friend, acquaintances of just hi bye friend, it all counts on how you value the moment, as i've said, it never was about me. but since i had met a lot and a lot of people with " do now regret later " kind of attitude, i started to become a pessimist over it. i never have a good feeling over everything, after all that had happened. so i became a pure heartless person. once you did it, then i make my decision then we're all good. sometimes, sorry is not the right word at any point.
i decide to left. feeling of seeing and having too much toxic people in my life , i should have a break now . set myself free from any unnecessary troubles.
so lets move on to my story that happened along these few months when i take quite a long time to blogging again.
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#serizawa : he has lily . 13th July 2013 . i wanna remember this date for my entire life. but i never had a chance to get to see her , never for once. then once again we started to talk again . one thing that came out from his mouth was '' i'm sorry " .and bla3... and at that point when he said that i feel totally nothing ,.i dont even feel like wanna go mad at him at him or whatsoever.today he texted me and i ignored. lol . sorry but i dont feel like talking to anyone at all . lets just be this way and let the time flies .
#somebody that i used to know : she texted me and even made a few calls which i didnt pick up . yes, after a while then i smell the feeling of regret. seriously i have been hurt by this type of betrayal and to be friends like before, let me just deal my feeling with God. sigh** she told me that she was sorry for her deeds, it makes my heart bleed. but i know it is alright to forgive and let things go . so indeed i forgave her. but i dont wish to have any more toxic in my life.
#life : i am getting good with finance and life . i followed what people do and just getting along with the human group. haa~ i feel so alienated actually. people at my workplace, who use to be like friends to me...they always pick me as the weakest person in the group. im always being the underdog and been stepped on and yeah,,..i dont really know how to backfire these people.they play with name calls and body shaming,i HATE it. but i still stay positive and told myself not to think much about it. they thought they did that and can be my friends, but to me, is it a very inappropriate attitude to have when getting along with me. sooner or later, i eventually still choose to have my high school buddies to count as my best buddies ever. they were silent but always there. no matter how, they never insults me and even try to do anything to hurt me. probably not just yet. but as far as i knew, they were totally fine with me.
#about me: i spent most of my time at home. because i dont really have a life, i assumed it that way . i worked 12-14 hours daily, back home ,continue doing the chores and i get to go to bed only at 1-2am and wake up at 0600am everyday and the cyle went on and on. but Congrats to myself, i managed to achieve a year period working in one place. yay ~ being an adult is never that fun. unless you know how to value everything.
life is hard at the city,. everything needs money . like seriously. you have to strive hard for just a little gaining. sigh** life still goes on
so i just get to have some time when i go out with my colleagues and that is all .
#random : i went out with big brother, meeting his friends which also became my friends. its fun :) imma put some sneak peek pics afterward k ? ^^ no bad judgement please.
* i even get to attend my friend's wedding . which i think the first wedding ever that i went with friend. every wedding before i get to attend with my own family and white ghost family .
*meeting new people in life. new as in meeting friends. but surprisingly, people i met were all good in singing and playing guitar. dangg~~ i am so blessed :)
* i turn down every guy that tries to get closer than just a friend. i dont know, i just dont feel like it. lol . apa la sy cakap ni . so there i go. single and not searching. serizawa ?? well.. my heart says no already . :)
haa... time is what i need. i dont have time to pamper myself. wayyyy too busy . but i have the feeling of everyday that i dont want people to look for me.cuz when i have time to rest that's where people look for me for a citchat or for help or just being ignorant about how tired i am .well, since i m also a user of #weChat, #whatsapp #ChatOn and all those stuff. I hate most of the time when people look for me while gaming. i hate to pause my game and so i became the bad person in people's eyes. wudevvaaaa~ words cant let me down, take it or leave it.
i leveled up this year. congrats to me~ ha ha... another year older and another year of change. but you know what i wished for on my birthday ~ ? i wish for a looooong vacation with salary pay~! lol.
Gosh .. i think that should be a wrap by now.. imma insert some pics and yea thanks to those who reads . ^.....^ ~ ciaoz!
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BYE~
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