So.... Today will be the day that i'm gonna mark for history.
Jadi c Eyla ni pigi la msg sy kan tadi yg jam 11.50pm ... Which i thought was urgent or what, because she seldom finds me on odd hours.
Then she sent me this. This picture. And i was laughing with my wtf face, telling her... " oh, sy nda tau pula sebab kami berblock with each other" then she said "which is why i ss this fer ya" ...ba thank you sangat la k eyla.
This girl. This is chabey. Shazriennah nama dia. Well apparently, she used to be someone yg significant dalam hidup sy sebab ter-rampas ajin dari saya. Well, sebenarnya diorang dua dua mau dan rela pula tu.
Surprisingly, seeing this pic does not make any, any fucking (tiru gaya King Coco bckap) Shit to me. Mampu lagi sy ketawa bah sebab lucu nya kan kawan sy p msg tengah malam utk show benda ni saja.
Then, i made a very bold move la selepas itu.... Saya pgi facebook, pg button blocking, and i UNBLOCKED c chabey ni. With a big heart and a wide smile. Lepas tu, sy pegi check post c Zunimah (ajin's lil sis) , sbab di sana yg c eyla ss tu gmbar di atas, and yes.. I could clearly see her though (chabey) . Then, with my own will i clicked on her name and scroll through her facebook. Surprisingly, tiada feeeeeeeling sayaaaa... OH MY GOD...... Saya bebas suda... Freedom yg betul betul. Sy tiada suda rasa sakit n tiada langsung rasa mau memaki. Dan sy happy lagi sebab tengok ajin makin gemuk.. Bahagia btul diorang aoh.. I was like, mmmm looking forward to see them berkahwin. At least ajin berubah jadi someone yg boleh diharap.
And then eyla asked me, " dia x penah kah pukul c chabey? ".. So i answered.. I guess nope. Because they two were happily together. Biar saya saja yg pernah rasa betapa psycho nya dia dulu... Makan tangan dia maki dia sma hinaan dia and macam² . Mati saja nda.
Ajin.. This guy.. He was mine for atleast seven years and.. Yea.. Number doesnt define how strong your relationship could be. He wasnt meant for me, that's why he hurt me. That's why God sent him another girl to replace me so i can be free.
Now i understand.. Well sebenarnya lama sudah saya understood. I know this is my acceptance and i am willingly accepting this fate. Dan sy bersyukur sebab sy bebas dari tu semua...
Revenge? Haha. Dulu iya la.. Saya betul betul mau bunuh c ajin. Tapi sy sedar... When we revenge on someone, we can't be happy. The past will always gonna haunt us and it's not a good thing. Sy lebih selesa untuk pilih mau let go. Thing is, i have better plan for tomorrow. We will never know what is gonna happen today, that's why we call it present. Whether it is good or bad, we will always gonna learn something from it.
Ajin has taught me how to live in a cruel world. And i am thankful for that. Sy doa saja yg dia x buat perempuan lain mcm dia buat sy. But i think he has changed. Syukur pd Tuhan.
Apparently.. Many magical things happened to me these lately.. Len ada cari saya. She told me that she has been looking for me for the past few years selepas kami graduate. Yea. My ex lessy. Dia sudah kawin. Straight nda straight sy tidak pasti. She was so happy that i replied her msg and so i made time To chat with her. She told me.. Dlu masa dia pilih fazey over me, she said.. She was using her head not her heart. And i was like "oooo... Kaeyyy" .. And then she was like ya.. Sy jujur sudah ni. I regret that i 've made such a big mistake. ... Ko x pernah jahat dengan saya sekalipun. Ko diam walaupun sy jahat sama ko.
Yea.. She've said it. Atleast. She tried to make peace with her present bah ni kan... Sy pun lega juga dapat tau apa dia mau bagitahu. Oh well. Bukan senang tu kasi lepas org yg kita syg. Tapi jujur la.. Every breakups started from people, not me. Saya slalu cuba untuk sentiasa buat yg baik baik saja utk couple sy. Syukur, dia masih ingat sy even tho dia sudah kawin. And she said she still syg saya.. Erks... Len.. Sudah sudah la k. Jangan juga jadi bisex kalau sudah berkawin.
So kami berbaik.. Tapi... Mantan mantan sy kbnyakan sudah cari saya balik to apologize.
Ya sy forgive kamu. N saya harap kamu forgive saya juga. Sy forgive ajin.. Sy forgive chabey. Saya forgive Nana, .. Sy forgive Jie.. forgive Lenn.. And also.. Yichi. Deana.. And sya forgive org org yg pernah aniaya sy sepanjang masa sy belajar dj kolej n hidup sendiri.
But to be honest.. Sy belum dapat forgive Boneyfee. Seumur hidup saya...
So. Yeah.
Today will be the history. Of my life. Sy doa chabey dan ajin dpt kawin cpt cpt... You guys are meant to be together. And as for me? ... :) in God's will.
