i miss my self . Always.

I bought some fish. Some alive fishes. Yeah and i started to arrange everything for all six of them. *smile* since i am alone, i decided to buy pet fish from my colleagues.

Since i fled. . I have been encountered lots of minor things due to the impact from that night . Pathetic. But i force my self to be strong and to push myself not to care about that sense of depression.

Sigh. My modem broken down. Uploading pictures are very limited since i depending on my phone. And my phone only.

Anyway , i am doing just fine. just. Fine.

I missed my times as a student though . Now limited to go online and wasting time.

Short saying from me.. Go0d nite me.

Ada Hikmahnya

Haha... Sa kerja half day hari ini gara-gara mau urus kwsp n college punya hal... Apparently sampai kolej, tutup pla until isnin depan.

Habis sa kena cuci telinga oleh c Bon... Dia cakap sia2 ja pigi, bagus men Dota di rumah dia bilang ,.. Hoho.

Tadi pagi lagi c Pakcik Keflee kasi mrah sa gara2 balik2 tanya pasal file yang sa minta dari dia... Percume kena bagi ceramah.,. Hoho...


Tapi lepas itu dia bagi lah sa... Sa tau da rasa bersalah kasi marah sa,.. Ngee...


N today sa beli keperluan untuk masak n makan... Sejak sa dapat beli stove, jarang suda menapau di luar,,,jimat kn? Tambah lagi sa prefer mknan yg masak sendiri. Jadi ada la co0king spree di rumah. Sa bercakap sendiri2 dgn stove tu sambil masak tu sayur.haha.dui. . .macam sot. But least can ease off sa punya jiwa kacau.

Sa happy, ada ramai kawan2 yg still ambil berat.. . .
Tp bagi guy friend, somehow sa ada rasa leceh ckit kalu c kaWan mula tunjuk act yg 'more than friend' punya act. To be truthful, sa diam bukan maksud sa suka. . . .sa just malas mau ckap sa rimas, malar kena text tanya situation,location,n doings. Fyi, i.m not your girlfriend. Jadi tu la sa nda reply text yg just mau tanya keaadaan sa. But i really appreciate the help that you guys gave to me.

Tis morning,as im going out to work, sa trkejut,ada makanan kena kc sangkut di grill pintu sa. Kena2 lg smua mkanan fav sa. I know dia ada datang tapi maybe ngam juga dia x bgtau. Nti sa pula yg naik gila
. Masih sakit ne hati kena buat bgtu .rasa betrayed n rasa hampa. . . Tp sa nda dpt marah lama2. Cuma x dpt lupa ja. Nway, sa appreciate yg ko dtg lawat sa. Ko ja yg tau mkanan fav sa. Sa tau la itu ko.

Maybe ada hikmah dgn suma perkara yg terjadi ini. Sa grateful sama Tuhan. Dia byk ajar sa.

Sakit oh hidup sendiri2. Perempuan lg. Haha. Tapi sometimes it is better to do anything alone. . . Kan. Klu sa stabil suda sa mau jg bg award untuk diri sendiri.

Tadi kena tanya,hujung bulan mau overtime kah tdak. Sa fikir2, x guna jg duduk rumah. So better p kerja kan.

Sa tau suma ni takes time to heal. Tapi sa percaya someday dia akan berubah. K la. Mau tdur. Nite

WhatsApp . Yea this tool is very convenient indeed. Once, in the middle of the night, and it happens to be tonight, it goes so very convenient that the notifi tone kept ringing for about six to seven times. As i was sleeping soundly, alone, after a whole lot of troubles that came rolling to me for the day, now this. Those notifi are from somebody special . . . Really. And the message inside sounds very angry, hateful and annoyed. Felt really sad after that. So okay. No more names. though it wasn't even a real maiden name , but okay, i respect that request. I guess i'd became way too vulnerable lately huh? And each stories with this name, shows that how unaware i am about it. Yea. Actually -you- gave-a-big-impact in my life. Left a numerous memories to me before its ended. And yeah seriously i did it, i mention this name in every each stories becuz i can't never forget. But since a request have been made, i'll try not to bring up you in any more stories of my life.. Damn. Sour my Feeling. time time sa kena problem yg bertubi2 bah.okk . Kenapa mesti time sa tdur ? Why?
So okay. I must concern about how you feel too, right? There, no more names ok. I hope this gonna put off that feel of annoyed of you.

Other stories, i've been offered one post as a safety officer at far far far away place from here. Either to take the fuel surveyor or niosh . . Its all choices i could have. The offer is very jumpy, good salary and yet, far. Really. I know i want it. This place i'm staying is cursed and everybody seems to hate me. Going far is an option that comes up in my mind. Africa. Wow. Or maybe just around here . Should i go for it? ? Sigh.

Sa sedih ari ini cuz mum asked me to go back to my own house rather than staying at my uncle's place. Reason is it is prohibited that another female tenant came to that gov house, without following some stupid gov fucking procedures. So . I felt like its hopeless. Never wanna ask help from my family again.


Since i flee from his place, just becuz he was gone somewhere looking for other bitches , things get way more miserable to me! Finance shortage, distance from work can't be help out, and nobody to help. I w0nt bother to complaint about paying the bus fee from my place to workplace everyday starting from now on. Its all what i'm thinking about now. Tapi sakit oh jadi loner n x dapat minta even keluarga untk tolong. Wicked world is thirsty 4 moneY, AND i don't have any asset for now. i feel sick and so pressured . Stress and everything. But sa try la kan .. Thanks for the wrap someone special. Now i kept thinking rather than sleeping. I hope you won't get hurt anymore. . Forgive me. I wish both of us the best of luck in life.

Iheartyou

Janice And Sonya

i just love them they're born with beautiful voices and pure beauty. Asians with Australian accents. and yeah they are born pure KOREAN. :)

the fact that i dislikes fake beauty of korea, this is an exception. 

they can sing very well and people loves them ! <3 and so do i. 

don't believe me, come on and check this out !

Jayeslee music

The World Today. Everything is Black and White. ( if there's no drama)

somebody please , HELP me .

The Bottled Feelings

I went half insane just becuz of you.
I don’t know else whether I am still me or became someone else that I don’t even know who .
Its just that I want you to listen and understand.
I have been there for you each time you start to speak .and I listen to every word you said. I tried my best to understand that you wanted all the times you needed for your life and yourself .
But .. why wont you do the same thing for me ?
all I asked for is you become all ears to me , just once and that’s it. I don’t need conclusion, nor any explanation to the things that I wanted to let you know. But please, treat me once as who I am, and listen, keep quiet and stay there and just once, try to L I S T E N .
I become half insane and almost everyday the thought of dying has become one with me.

.

Do you ever realize ? things . simple things. The things that you don’t even bother to look up for ? . nope.
But since you never try, or giving any shot to it, I think I rather jot it down and maybe somehow, someday, some other time, when I am gone , from your life, you might found out this and read .
You being so mean to me with your doings.
Do you know that, since that day you left me alone in the empty house and when its blackout and darkness crept into my mind, I tried all chances that I got to reach u and asked you to come back and be my companion, AND YOU NEVER COME BACK, but instead you went out seeing that other girl till the other next day you came back just to take your farking gold watch and ring from me.
DID I ASK YOU TO COME BACK AGAIN THAT TIME ? no. hell no.
I persuade my heart to be just independent to myself and stand on my own feet. And you came back, simply yelling at me asking me to pack up my things and follow you back home. I told you to leave and you stayed there raising up your voice, slamming my door and yeah become the centre of attention to the neighborhood. Its humiliating me, do you realize that?
And so like a dog, I follow what you said. SATISFIED enuff ? I don’t think so .
You brought me to your home and that’s it. I knew, you send and fetch me daily to my workplace, I know, you spent moneys eating out every day with me at our regular fave place, I know you were being there in front of me hypocritely and to ensure that I would thought you are being there for me .
But its not what I want.
I wish all your other girls hears it when you said that they’re not worthy.
I wish I am not the only one that you dare to confess like it.
“ ko ingat yang ko selalu Nampak sy berkol tu , seriously bukan c enna seja, betul ni . even kalau dia bukan dengan sy pun, akan ada lagi yang lain”
How would you feel if you become the girl that you mentioned about heard about it, just from your very own lips ?
Yea I know, you just toying them around .
Saying that you might gonna stay that way forever.
I don’t care about that.
All I want is you, saw me and understand how am I gonna get thru all this.
After you made me cry today, the next day you’ll give the biggest warmest hug and kisses ever to me, it repeats.
Why ? What am I ?
Why would you keep me close to you and stay with you if you could not even certain what are we now. Saying I am totally different from those girls. And when I asked what am I to you, you simply just cannot farking answer ME !
I don’t understand.
I went crazy trying to figure out why wont you stop doing this. Stop toying people around.
Do you ever remember that you told me, believe in KARMA ?
Hell why do you put yourself on it then ???

To be truthful to you, I wish you ever realized that

I am that girl that cared about your feeling though you not. Despite of you kept raising your voice on me, and treating me like biscuit, I still put myself to neutral trying hard to tell myself, ‘’forgive him, just forgive him’’
I am that girl that cried to the max when you told me you loved me and you hugs me tight whilst the other day you told the same stories to those other girls. my soul is dying and my heart is completely torn apart .

I am that girl that stayed strong and become all ears to you when you have your problem and being there as your shoulder without asking anything in return. I just loved you and that’s it.

I am that girl that you brought along went around going anywhere with you and accompany you without even considering whether I was tired or having other priority beside.
I am that girl that did the laundry for you and put off the mess you did in your room even if you kept doing it again and again.
I am that girl that saw your farking videos and pictures with other girl and cried and here I am still being there for you .
I am that girl that always being quiet when you mad at other people and you put your anger towards me and all I can do is to take it in swallow it deeply and cried.
I am that girl that hugs you every night when you were sleeping and sleep only after you are totally asleep.
I am that girl that you hurt everyday when you keep selling love stories to me, trying to cheer me up and in the end, still you went and find those other girls.
STUPID enuff. That’s me .
Why ajin ? you trying to pull off karma on me? Well its painful enuf.
I cant do what I’d actually decide to do becuz you are there in every corners of my life.,. I m stucked here, no life, no any real smile.
I wonder why, we went to every place, and I don’t know why those other girl never notice that ? we were together in the public and yet, they never notice that ? or am I just being blinded and you twist up stories to them so that they wont run ?

GOD I wish I had all the answers to my questions.
All I wanted for is to break free from my sadness, even I have to stuck here with you all the way. Just stop being so inconsiderate. For once.
I just wished that you quit playing games with my heart and just put me away becuz you had your spares.
Why would you still being there with me around and around and yet you never realized that I never tried anything to hurt you but instead you hurt me again and again and again .
Ko tau kah apa perasaan orang yang mau jaga hati ko and kasi abai hati dia sendiri ? tidak.
Like now, saya alami lagi benda yang berulang .
Malam ini ko kasi sakit saya, besok pagi ko sayang2 saya.
Hipokriit okkk .. .and it really hurting me .
Sampai tua la saya ada life begini ?
Sampai bila saya mau hidup sama ko bila sekarang pun ko ada banyak perempuan ?
Not to brag , but I am not desperate to find any replacement.
True story. Im just the one who keep myself to you .
Why cant you do the same thing ? you keep away Jye from me. And now? Why cant you keep those other gals away then ?
Why are you stealing my happiness ? why ?
I am not happy when you pouring stuffs and luxuries on me, becuz all I want is sincerity .
Even when the time you are broke and lose everything, I ever been there for you . involved in summons and accidents, I was that girl who were in the situation with you .

DO YOU EVER TRY TO REALIZE ? nope.

This is truly painful.. all my emotions are bottled in, feelings are bottled in, and there I cant tell it to you becuz you just wont listen to me.
Fuck you .
I had a fucked up life but I persuade my self to be thankful to what I had. But really, I am dying .
Get over it please, just do the simplest thing to give the biggest change in our life. You , and me.
But yeah, you just wont be there.

Hopefully someday you will be the person that realized this and knew why do I write about our stories everytime . despite of the fact that I can do other thing , choose other guy, I’d choose to be there for you …

Thanks for reading, perhaps.

Ciaoz .

Hello Sunday

ahhhh ~~ sa sendiri lagi ne hari... ada kah lagi urang yang hidup dia macam sa ne ah ? 

maybe ada lagi orang yg cerita hidup dashyat n kita nda pernah imagine kan ? 
sa selalu imagine yang sa ble tengok jalan cerita hidup orang lain n dalam masa yg sama bole bagi sa motivasi n dorongan. 
sa selalu juga rasa jealous dengan kawan2 yg ada hidup yg happy. ada career n senang hati dgn apa yg dorang ada skg. 
actually sa pun rasa bersyukur skg sebab sa dapat kerja dalam masa yg terdekat lepas habis study. lagi satu kerja tu weekdays seja so tiap hujung minggu bole rehat puas2.

sa bersyukur sebab mum sa n sa ok suda, dia pun rajin suda contact sa nda macam dulu, sajuuuuukkkk ja hubungan kami.
n satu lagi sa bersyukur yg sa punya hubungan sma family c tanakwagu still rapat walaupun kami dua ada problem .

aha... nda semestinya semua yg kita mau tu bole tercapai n bole dapat kan ? 

skg sa ada goal sendiri .. tapi planning jangka masa panjang la. 
sa penat suda balik2 sorong tarik tu cerita... sekejap begini, sekejap begitu . orang2 yg selalu advice sa pun suruh sa pandai2 decide seja.. 


sa nda begitu kuat mo hold on benda yg buat diri sendiri sakit . kan ? sama la macam orang lain. kalau balik2 sudah kena kasi sakit... mesti dorang mo avoid tu benda kan ? 
 lagipun sa sedar yg sa bole buat lebih lagi dari sekarang. 

apa yg sa perlu just pendirian tetap. tapi so far sa masih terumbang-ambing dengan diri sendiri .

had a talk with one of my girlfriend yesterday .

dia cerita la experience dia pasal life dia ne.. 

sedih la jua..  dia cakap 'feeling yg mau lari jauh2 tapi masih mau dengan tu org' memang sangat2 budu .sa setuju sngat.. 
n dia crta yg lepas dia dapat kerja tetap baru dia boleh dapat full distraction daripada benda yg buat dia jatuh .

sa betul2 respect people yg dapat bangun semula lepas dia kena macam2 dugaan. especially perempuan. 
ramai orang cakap kita orang perempuan ne lemah. 

but abang sa sendri dia cakap, actually secara mentally perempuan lah yg lebih kuat daripada lelaki..
n dia respect perempuan yg independent. 
so far sa motivate diri sa untuk face itu problem sebab sa tidak dapat lari dari ne problem.

n setiap hari benda yg buat sa sakit lama2 buat sa rasa invincible.
sa nda mau zaman2 20's sa ne sia-sia sebab sa bersedih seja.
NO. thats why sa masih bole senyum ..

bukan sebab dia seja la. banyak perkara yg buat sa jatuh , 
example, kekurangan duit, nda cukup keperluan, kena sabotaj kawan, kena benci orang, kena fitnah, n bla3,...setiap hari ada seja surprise yg sa nda dapat duga.

tapi betul cakap kawan2 sa...makin kita dekatkan diri dengan Tuhan, makin kita rasa semua tu beban RINGAN seja. 

sa dulu nda dapat terima yg org yg bersama sa skg ada byk perempuan. skg pun still nda dapat terima tapi sa dapat hadapi .
dulu sa rasa dia la dunia sa . but then skg sa tau sa ada lebih lagi dari itu seja. 
kadang2 rasa tidak adil tu bole buat sa geram sampai mau bunuh orang.
sa tutup mata and imagine yang sa sudah lepas geram sa sma tu orang.. tp syukurla sa nda buat secara verbal. 
sa tau sa nda layak judge dia. 
mum pun cakap, bagi dia buat apa yg dia mau . 
jangan halang kemahuan org lain.
biar Tuhan seja yg judge dia. .

but semalam kami bertampar ne. hahhaha.. budu la juga.
sebab dia nda habis2 ejek sa n cucuk2 pinggang sa ,sa cakap stop tapi dia ignore, sa geram ,sampai terikut2 tu geram sa pasal perangai dia n last2 ter-tam-par. 
buduuuuu ~ terus dia jalan ba . 

hurm ..pandai2 la ko jaga diri kan ajin. sa nda mau halang ko .

bila kawan2 yg share cerita dorang dengan sa, sa akan jadi pendengar setia. n sa ambik moral dari cerita dorng n apply dengan diri sendiri. 

sa bagitau diri, yg semuanya akan okayyy ~ 

yeap . 

people said we're young forever, depends on how we live our life.
how i live my life? sa skg ada kerja, ada kawan2, ada org yg sa syg, ada family yg sa sayang. 

lengkap kan ? daripada orng yang homeless n tiada sepa2... mesti hidup dorang lagi depressing kan . 

tu la.. sa rasa sa boleh terima bila c chabey ada sini. KALAU la. 
sebab sa rasa pilihan tu bukan dari kami .tapi dari orang yg satu tu .
dulu, sa pernah encounter c jia wen.
dia berabis cakap he's mine he's mine. lol .sa ingat lagi dia punya rasa mo fight n mo let me down tu  sangat2 kuattt.... cinta memang macam tu kan ? 
dia sanggup kasi malu diri sendiri semata2 mau sama c tnakwagu.

and sa cuma cakap pilihan tu bukan di tangan saya . if dia mau ko , dia akan pilih ko n tinggalkan sa... n pendek cerita... skg c jia move on n kawin dengan org lain .syukur la .memang dia lawa ba . perfeect skin . banding sa ne, people labeled me anak india sebab mole yg betul2 ada di tengah dahi sa. 
ohyeah..rahmat Tuhan.

hurm..tu zaman2 masa sa masih budak high scul lagi .. sekarang bila  c chabey jadi budak high scul n sa pula big girl suda... sa faham perasaan c jia time tu .

she berabis mo provoke yg lelaki tu milik dia n ckap2 kat fb sebab dia hot stuff kan sana... thats y banyak supporter. but sa rasa if sa ikut2 pun macam kebudak2kan pula. ehehhe ~ :)

thats why sa rather hidup cam nie. biar tu fugly truth reveal sendiri, maybe not now.. maybe time yg sa rasa benda ne nda berbaloi sdah .. ngam juga ba dorang tu . 

cute couple. ^_^

nway ...tu terppulang sama c tanakwagu la macam mana. sa rasa freedom yg sa dapat sekarang is okay sebab nda berapa terikat walaupun sa limit diri sendiri nemau ada hook up sama any new guy lagi. 

kadang2 sa rasa rugi tapi sa nda menyesal ... bagus lagi nda tipu diri sendiri .cukup la pa yg sa pernah ada sama Jye dulu. teda suda sa punya hati mo hook2 up sama sepa2. 

sa happy sebab keadaan begini bole buat sa lebih dekat dgn Tuhan .

lagipun sa agree sama quote yg ckap Tuhan tidak akan bagi benda yg kita mahu tapi Dia akan bagi benda yg kita perlu .so stakat ne sa pasrah .. sa nda mau meminta2 .. .yg sa tau ne ckup suda .
lagipun long term planning sa mesti mo capai .
HARAP-HARAP dapat. kalu dapat mesti sa rasa achievement yg amat sangat. hehehhehe 
..

amiinnnn bilangg ~

kita nda bole jangka hari2 macam mana, so i decide to expect problems everyday and eat them for breakfast.. kalau kita alpa dengan benda yg buat kita appyy,, kita nda akan ready bila benda tu hilang. 

sa harap juga yg somehow sa kena hargai ba tapi siapa la saya kan ..haha..  
macam yg sa nampak before , rltionship sama c Jye betul2 mengajar sa .. zaman skg cinta seja nda cukup ..perlu ada juga maintenance diri , n finance support. na kalu ada korita tu pakej la tu . hewhewh .. .

lagipun orang sekarang mana ada peduli suda adat2 kita dullu....yg penting cari duit dulu kan ? oohh my world... makin lama makin tua. 

hurm ... 
sama satu lagi benda yg sa sedar... kita cuma akan kenal siapa kawan sejati kita lepas kita mula hidup sebagai adult suda... 
sejak sa habis study...kawan2 sa hilang satu2. 
n yg stick dengan sa pun jarang2 contact. 
becuz masing2 suda dengan hidup sendiri . 

thats why having many friends is not necessary nowadays. 
yg sa tau sa kenal sepa yg kawan sa sebenar n sepa yg bukan ... 
but begitu la hidup . cycle of life. tp sa sayang dorang... among of my bestest buddies ~ <3 lots of love

rinduuu ~ sa rinduu time high scull ... huhu .. teda perlu fikir banyak macam sekarang.. tp tu la.. .sa tetap ingat dorang semua walaupun skg kami masing2 suda dengan life sendiri . :) 


hoaahh ~ banyak betul sa mo cakap kalau boleh ..tapi maybe its better to be keep to myself kan ?? 

wanna find things to eat dulu la ~ sa out dulu ...buh byyyyye ~ 

Update Update

wewh ... sa bangun awallll ne hari ...

seawal 7 am ... macam pigi kerja seja .. lols. 

Rien Jin woke me up early and brought me out tadi ...so sa rasa mo singgah rumah sa lah dulu ..and now here i am . dia p workshop lagi kc bikin tu bonnet kreta.. 

and i told in my previoue post kan we'd got into a slight accident before but the damages is heartbreaking juga la.. .so here's it is... 

two cars collided and we're the one at the back . gila tu orang di depan p break mati d tengah highway ... but then due to stupid Malaysia law, whoever langgar from behind are the one responsible.. .so the pressure is very high there. mo bayar itu ini lagi ... duii .. mo repair lagi .. hurmm ...

X X X

so lain cerita lagi ... days before.. sa dengan diorang pigi la Perdana Park.. 

jalan2 lepas kerja.. 

HAD some very good times together there .. .heheh... buka posa and jogging2 and running2 kunun sana ... 

took some picture on Zu's request, and here they are ~^_^ siok ne tngok sisterhood dorang.. 

and looking thru their pictures .. .like seriously sa RINDU twin sa c Shofey .... 

dunno what had happened lately, something should have been wrong and she didnt return my call nor texts at all .. Worried but i think she is big enuff to decide ba tu ...sama ja kami jaga diri sendiri and stood up on our own  .. 

but hopefully God will bagi sa chance to meet her very soon lah ... 

RINDUUUU ~~ <3

hoho ... last nite mum ajin ajar sa buat kuih raya, biskut raya... .banyak juga lah process nya.. 

and she taught me to cook homemade pineapple jam for pineapple tart... can you believe that ? sa ingat process dia sanangg2 urang bilang.. but then ... Penat juga la memasak itu jem after memarut and kasi perah itu nenas .. .

 but the result is wonderful .. 

sadap gilakkk ~ kami pakai nenas madu . 

and made biskut ulat... kuih makmur... 

wewh ...as a dusun, i seldom had these kind of experience... 

.. 

i mean, buat kuih raya.. hahah

and aunty taught me a lot while doing a lot too ...we talk the whole night sampai kerja tu siap... 

and 

sa nda tau apa gila sa , sa cakap dengan Rien Jin, "ko bawa seja bah c enna p rumah, nda juga kami menyibuk '' 

lol.. 

sa gila ka apa tu ?? 

maybe i am used to his doings bah ... 

tu lah tu kan ...nevertheless sa malas mo fikir juga... apaitu cinta macam tu ..

thanks to my brother Bon, he reveal a lot of things about guys, and guy with attitude like Ajin . 

buahahha...sa dapat bayangkan oh kalau c tondu ada di rumah and i was there too .. .AWKWARRDD ~~ but sa rasa la . .i could accept it. i dont know him macam mana la. ntah sampai bila mau tipu tu tondu , 

and sa nemau fikir apa ending ni cerita. 

bukan sa minta apa pun.  tp benda ni jadi juga  .

so.bilang c bon, GO with the FLoW. eya kah ? ?

ramai sudah yg cakap camtu bah .

Dari sa seja tu .. To be or not to be 

thanks to my gurlfriends... dorang nda habis2 kasi encourage sa.. 

tp Zu cakap . stick with my brother.. no matter what. 

ehem .. sa tahan seja la . 

haha but gila ow sa boleh2 suruh dia bawa tu tondu p rumah . .. macam sa ok seja kan .? puii . 

if dia bawa pun biar la .. 

sa rasa sa free mind seja skg . 

hahha

anyway, ne hari sa mo rehat... petang keluar lagi .. .hurm lama nda p church . 

and i missed my mum and brothers and sister. 

hope they will turun kk time cuti raya nanti .. .bleh luang masa kan . eheks. 

sa ada target sudah kalu dapat gaji mo buat apa.. .

but its a long term plan.. sa harap sa boleh tahan la .. 

aminnn bilangg ~ ngee .. 

fingers keep crossing !! 

ciaoz !

rasa DAMN yg amat

hey girl. do you know how my heart wanna tell that i want let you know what is the true color of life that had happened behind u ? but then i kept telling myself that you not worth my time and even I dont know you . why should i bother. but i felt pity over it.
 blah . nothing much,.
im staying like weeks already at his place and been with him in his ups and downs,. ..

grawhhhh banyak la bah sa buleh cerita sama ko kalo buleh ~! 




i bet you dont even know that we are involved in an accident recently right ???
 and do you know how i wanna scream this out to him ?  you know absolutely nothing about him .
what you know is that you are happy and you dont know the real story .

met his parent after a while and had some real talk there... and his mum said about what had happened. and yeah she asked me to stay strong and stay with them at that house.

i know even if i had to get to tell you via face to face you sure aint gonna believe this.

you sure will gonna trust that guy's word and his effing words only .

but yeah things are really happened behind you .
whatever,. 

i believe karma will tell, time will tell .. i love what i had now..

thats all ...and sa tau lelaki MEMANG TIDAK CUKUP SATU


and so many things had happened recently, i am truly happy with my new job and i work with my dream stuff which is DSLR and happily working with it on weekdays :D

i love my new job like seriously. :D..

i have been waaaayyy too busy with my new job and i really dont have time for leisures.

aduii balik seja kerja , malam sudah ... masak untuk semua and makan and mengantuk ....tidur awal seawal 9pm and i dont have time to open my lappy ...SOB

kesian juga la sa rasa diri sa... kerja yg berulang and routine yg berulang..
..

pagi seawal 6.30 perlu ada di highway sudah mo elak traffic jam ...everyday i took OT to get myself busy like hell and it really works. huhu..

..


and now i had a bad day ...

baru2 ne kami accident after sa balik kerja... hurm now still in the process la tu kes... but then kereta yg rosak di depan ...teruk jua... too bad i cant upload the picture by now.. .ugh . . 

but syukur la kami idup lagi . ehe .
and my job ... betul2 ubh cara hidup saya..


well ..its what i aimed for kan .

i achieved it. 

tapi satu hal tu lagi ... 


ermmmm ... 

nvermind la... as long as i am with him daily. 


can see and can spend time . 



sukuppp sudaaa etoo ~ lol  


sa ada bad day ne hari  c ajin kacao sa makan ....time makan dia nda habis2 kc main2 sa ,,, huh 


so i ran to cyber la ...teda tempat lain mo lari ... 


think imma go back by now... so ...thats a wrap for now... maybe will less updating after this ..

but one thing is . IM PROUD IM AN ADULT NOW :D
..

lol ... statement tu ba . haha



ciaoz !