SLIGHTLY STUPID.

I ARGUED WITH JEREMY LAST TUESDAY NIGHT

i dont know what was in my mind by that time. we argued in the phone...since he is far from me.. :S

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i think i think way too much already .lol

sa tau sa yang over reacted... hoho

i accused him on doing the things that he did not. jahat oh sa... and when he called, he was on duty that night. demam panas lagi .hukk...sa pun sakit jua time ni.

musim sakit bah kan ...jeremy was ordered to work overnight to watch over the crops and stuffs....then he'll just gonna be back during  the breaking dawn...mau satu minggu suda kami seldom brcontact...hmm

sa tau sa terlampau banyak fikir..traumatized from my past. .. the worst thing that i said to him is that i said about seeking for other . and mingling around. hurmmm ..BODDOOh ko shoney.. 

and he didnt raise his voice to me. eventho i know i had hurt him with those words. bayangkan ko sakit2 and kerja ot lagi terus kena tuduh bukan2 ..nda bikin panas kah tu. ...

hekhek... ntah la sa nie... i think i need to calm down n nda fikir gitu jahat .sa tau tu manager dia was very fond of him ..and i know he was on his way to success... (pray for him ) 

heheh tapi kami berbaik sudah lah ...sa yg minta maaf sama dia... adeiii ... hehe

hopefully our relationship will be blessed . AMEN

other story pula... semalam dunia kecoh2 pasal tu kiamat... armageddon . dui.

ada lagi yg cakap 3 days of darkness..but here i am still , in the office, blogging... lulz..

tapi sa kena bagi ne video bah ...lucu ne..hahahah

here it is

The Last day on Earth!!

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wkwkwk...sekali ini hari ...kecoh lagi urang marah2 pasal teda kiamat. budu. .

sa jalan kaki p kerja...teda tambang.. jera oh naik teksi... tapi sekali tu hujan...so fortunately my friend eyla gave me a ride...

sa mau bersyukur sama Tuhan sebab jawab prayer sa.. 

tu hari ba, sa jalan2 kaki pi kerja...sa berpeluh macam buduh sana... then sa stop di satu tembok, duduk sambil merungut2,... terus sa pray sa cakap sa mau ada korita,...atau kasi sa cara lain untuk sampai di tempat kerja without getting sweaty ...sa mau itu seja .. kereta untuk sa pakai p kerja...lulx...sekali kena jawab sa punya prayer... i love you God. hehhe

lucu lah bah...

hehhe ...hurm...kalau betul la manusia boleh ramal kiamat, everyone should be a God. but yeah, try to sacrifice your whole life dulu baru cakap berabis. keh?? 

btw tahun ni mcam awal tahun juga,sa celebrate sendiri2 di kk...

teda cuti ...huhuhu 

sa kerja dulu ..ciaoz !

TAKE OVER CONTROL

So i'm writing again. 

saying that im leaving and cant spend time on blogging is one thing,. .. but yeah i did left.

and eventually i feel like telling some of my recent story.

LOTS OF THING HAD happened recently and some are just good news for me.. and some are really sad ones.

i moved out...yeah ...finally.

Mia moved out and leaves Lana alone.

they went to separate ways.

and its a good thing to Mia though.

but the bad thing she argued with her useless brother and to be truth, he is a total jerk to Mia.

really. 

becuz of money matter, he is willing to kill Mia. the fuck ? 

so like Mia has always felt, she decided not to put respect ANYMORE to her useless bruder.

Useless as in many term. like seriously, he rather kill his own sister to back up his girl .yeah the hell with that . i just dont care. 

you're not worthy anyway. 

in time im needing your guys' help, you weren't around. so why should i have a reason not to disrespect you ? blood relates us , but loyalty is what make us family..

and the day that her brother willing to kill her , that is the very day that Mia's heart has turned very fuckin cold towards him and Lana ofcourse. 

being friends with her, sure still can... but to be housemates ... well... i need to say no for that. 

im taking over my feeling and clearing my sense to a very natural state..whereas i have to do a tough decision on that.. leaving a friend behind. 

its not really my choice though .. but since people are stepping on my head again and again (fact : sa ne lurus bendul ) 

when they know my being and should not suppose to do that, im taking a different way then. 

biarlah... im assuming that i wasnt my fault... feel forced anyway. hahaha

so another thing is that .. im willing to take an occupation that gonna make me totally remote from the city and other people. 

salary's good. 

butttttttttttttttttttt ... my mommy didnt give me the blessing i need. gahhh ... that is the time that i only wished that i was an orphan .

hurm ...so its alrite. 

mum bought an apartment in the city and started moving stuff in there.. she asked me to stay at that house... but the distance to my current workplace is quite far. so i m thinking to come over during the weekend only...least im coming home, aite? 

and another thing is. 

i moved to another workplace too ...going here and there... quite fun ..but really.. duit pun terbanggg,.... exhausted to the max.. and all .

urmmm....but im happy with my new job. 

but i need to sit in front of two big lcd's everyday for like 8 to 10 hours and it makin my eyes really sober. 

tia pa la...cari makan kan gitu ...

bout me and jeremy .. things are great.. ^_^ 

just good. 

hehe

took new pictures and talk about stuffs... 

and it feels so good to see him .

i'll give some sneak peek next time.. 

going back to work now... so thanks for spending times reading. 

happy 13 | 12 |2012 !

ciaoz<3

HELLO DECEMBER !!!

Heypp... im still awake..

so its the first of December Two oh Twelve.. 

hohooh i am very sure that i had been owing my self lots of time to tell bout my story .

.

i love to write and i love to express my feeling thru words.. 

but ever since my lappy crashed and broadband damaged.. i really dont have time to fix them though.

bayangkan sa punya kerja pagi sampai malam baru sampai rumah. hujung minggu memanG sa malaaaaassss mau keluar.. amat ...malas. kecuali, kalu sa ada duit itu masa. wuhhuuuu....

im a kaki wayang too ....despite of being a food lover.. for instance, i could have them both in a time.

i remembered my perangai buruk, membawa mcD big mac and KFC two piece chicken into the cinema hall ...wewhhh ~~ kamu dapat bayang ka macam mana orang2 sebelah sa kempunan terhidu2 tu bau sedap ?? wkwkkwk jahat kan ? ada lagi yg marah coz cannot focus on the mubiee... lulz... 

ahhaha oh wow i never thot its been already a year since my ups and downs... fuhhh should marry myself. 

ahaaa ~~ so lets talk bout my story ... recently ... im wishing my self a happy monthsary with my dear Jeremy .. 

he cannot be there for me on that very day ...becuz of work matter and distance. yes... kami berjauhann ....jauhhh gilak ...kalu urg len , bf dia di sepanggar, dia pula di penampang pun suda rasa jauh ...apakan lagi saya inihh ....

ngam2 lagi sa punya hati betul2 fragile skg..mudah betul give up sama org... urmmm ...tp we manage to handle it... he made effort to call at night during our day ...despite of the fear that bad thugs might peek around... and we talked for minutes and i could happily go to sleep..

:) happy monthsary jeremy 

struggling with life here...  kerja sama client yg amat amat bikin geli and annoying is not easy. i dont know.. maybe land surveyor dept suma la dia punya ba... rules and stuffs suma dia yg atur... our own boss nda pernah sama sekali bising pasal kerja kami which i think is already satisfying but this one old witch memang suka cari masalah cari kesalahan n etc yg negative....emang dasar unta la... hoho...

our contract has been shortened and we are going to end it up at the end of november. but me , and another two friends are called to the HQ to attend the training there... kalu lulus ituh training... .kami keraja lagii ...kalu inda...memang caucincau sudah la... 

but ...different situation is... 

i'd planned to go far far far from this sad sad sad place if i can.... sa nda bule ouh tinggal sini kekeh... sakit kepala sa teringat benda yg sakit sakit... haahhah... budu . 

everywhere has a memory , every place and every song yg selalu sa hadapi di sini ... .

and moreover.... MIA is vey much enuf with prangai c LANA.... she cannot stand to be a hypocrite no longer/....and yes she told her boyfriend about it.. 

so that is why .... sa betul2 perlu jalan. 

kalu tidak...sa stick dengan keadaan yg sussahh mau ubah kiri kanan dia.. 

f im not your mother i dont live everyday to pamper you ... i dont want to live my life with hatred towards person like you..bule ada high blood bah kalu hari2 sakit hati.

yea perhaps she could be her bruder's girl but not a huzmate ... Mia cannot stand low hygiene punya org. seriously . and susa kalu urg yg nda ble terima teguran... .kena tegur terus mau masam muka n sakit2 hati ... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh !

but i wont blame.. maybe itu suma bermula dari ajaran keluarga and amalan d rumah .. kan ?? and sa nda tau la...maybe sa terlampau terbiasa apa mummy sa ajar pasal hygiene matter tu la sa jahat sikit kalu bab yg ini ... maybe yes being as friends... tapi i realize i cant live with people with low tolerance and lack sense of respect., i cannot forget that stupid night. buu ~ minta maaf la... sa pun manusia juga. 

anyhow.... macam sa dapat juga la pigi jauh at last ... maybe dalam minggu depan... and imma be totally remote from people and surrounding... away from everything... and people that i know. 

sa pigi rehab lah dulu ... 

who knows i'll be able to be back as a new person like im looking forward to be... not this sad emo girl that im livin within myself since forever. hoho


sa rasa ini la pilihan n decision terbesar dalam idup sa pernah sa buat. 
kadang2 sa terfikir... i could leave just everything to live my new life... 
but selama ni budget seja yg jadi halangan... sa nda rasa takut juga mau jalan jauh... well maybe mau melawat dad sa di saaanna  .. kan ? urmm .. 

but yah...next week would be it. sa urus dulu suma utang2 sa di kekeh ne... urus suma yg patut then sa caucincau... sa patut ambik ne peluang la..once in a lifetime urang bilang kan.
i'll miss my friends families and memories... well missing those memories is part of moving on bah kan..

i know i should walk one step forward.. after all the devastation that life has given to me.
life made me lost so much to gain so few... but i will try to give a thousand reason why i still could smile over it. 

thanks for the people that have hurt me and ditch me and abandoned me and betrayed me. they were all my motivator... tapi yg sa paling appreciate sa punya kawan2 la.... terutama yg tau jalan cerita sa.... dorg walaupun ada masalah sendiri tp nda pernah nda bagi sa support to move on.. dyveline, ain,cila,esee, vievie, dieya, grace lee...nantong, bee bee, daphne, ,clizn, ayumi, eyla, pet, and others... my tommy boy friends, and guy friends.... sa sayang ne smua org ...nda sa dapat buat apa pun mau kasi tunjuk yg sa appreciate... tp if i could be happy after what they'd told me to do, then thats mean sa nda kasi sia2 tu nasihat durang.. 

haha... maybe its a little too late to realize after all ...satu tahunnn wooohhh... genap satu tahun sa sakiiiiit memanjang... kalu ini pun orang cakap sa nda bagi cukup peluang... sa pun mau kasi muntah darah dulu la...tgk tu  tukang critic dapat idup lagi ka nda kalu jadi sa.. sa jadi budu ba satuu tahunn ... hahaha... memang bduu ... budu la ...tapi sa tau sa terlampau sayang tu lah sa sanggup btahan . hekhek... *kiss myself* i'd worked way too hard for it .. kan sean ? biar org yg kita syg tu happy sma life yg dia pilih .. its his lost. not me. 

wewh...but i need to work hard on my new relationship la...eventho we've owned each other ... but still effort should be applied onto it... susa juga kalu idle2...sa jera suda. 
jera suda dgn benda yg tak kemana... sa sayang tu family but apa kan daya sa sendiri macam bayang2 seja... 

hurm ...betul oh...sa bukan bebeh , banyak kekurangan...gandut lagi ... wkwkkw...tapi sa bersyukurrr sebab masih ada yg mau hargai sa... 

hehe 

tapi sa nda mau expect apa2 la ne.. biar seja tu flow macam itu .. .ada ada...teda ,teda la... kan . 

i met somebody .. 
 and his name is deyl .
i named him like that. 
he really is an amazing friend. ada dreadlock and yea a good person. he always being supportive to me and jeremy.. i feel glad.. 
i just glad ..meeting new people that actually cares and really being my motivator.. 

there's never a right time to say goodbye

thank you all , k ?

wow.. mcam farewell pula ne...hehe sa pigi rehab seja ba... 
duii ini pun mau bagitau ka..aiya kalu ada c chabey sini...sa salamm oh sama dia sebab mau thank you sama ni budak pasal dia suka sindir2 sa ba dulu ..pastu mau show off show off... besa la kalu budak kan ...hot stuff lagi.... kalu dia nda buat gitu kan...nda kali sa ada hati batu macam skg... kodou bilang kalu dusun . 
sa kasi halal seja pa dia suda buat. pa lagi yg kazen sa punya gulpren ...sa kasi halal seja hypocritism dia., 
n suma la haters sa... sudah la tu yg dulu2.... kamu telan la tu org...sa nda mau high blood oh gara2 sakit hati seja.. lol.. 

ah sudah la...penat sa mau jaga hati org ba.. hati sa ni hancur mancur suda.. betul . fuhh ...square room yg sa idam2 mau tingal lama2 pun terus sa teda mood bah.

kerja lagi ka...pusing2 bah tu gaji ...teda pun dapat save bagi sama mummy sa... hoho ...sa mau try nasib la d tpt lain... wish me luck ^^

tapi im sure... one day my rezeki will come.. i just need to have faith in God and myself.. and effort... bukan mau minta la..tp if me and jeremy werent meant  to be together pun sa rasa sa bule idup suda..sebab ini bukan pertama kali .. ngee palis2... 


hahha wewhhhhh so much to talk about ohh ... yg penting sa nda dapat suda blogging la ... tu jak ... n fbing and all ....gonna be freakin busy with life then .. 

so , have a blessed December 2012 everyone... 

hugs and kisses from me

SHONEYCA <3