HELLO DECEMBER !!!

Heypp... im still awake..

so its the first of December Two oh Twelve.. 

hohooh i am very sure that i had been owing my self lots of time to tell bout my story .

.

i love to write and i love to express my feeling thru words.. 

but ever since my lappy crashed and broadband damaged.. i really dont have time to fix them though.

bayangkan sa punya kerja pagi sampai malam baru sampai rumah. hujung minggu memanG sa malaaaaassss mau keluar.. amat ...malas. kecuali, kalu sa ada duit itu masa. wuhhuuuu....

im a kaki wayang too ....despite of being a food lover.. for instance, i could have them both in a time.

i remembered my perangai buruk, membawa mcD big mac and KFC two piece chicken into the cinema hall ...wewhhh ~~ kamu dapat bayang ka macam mana orang2 sebelah sa kempunan terhidu2 tu bau sedap ?? wkwkkwk jahat kan ? ada lagi yg marah coz cannot focus on the mubiee... lulz... 

ahhaha oh wow i never thot its been already a year since my ups and downs... fuhhh should marry myself. 

ahaaa ~~ so lets talk bout my story ... recently ... im wishing my self a happy monthsary with my dear Jeremy .. 

he cannot be there for me on that very day ...becuz of work matter and distance. yes... kami berjauhann ....jauhhh gilak ...kalu urg len , bf dia di sepanggar, dia pula di penampang pun suda rasa jauh ...apakan lagi saya inihh ....

ngam2 lagi sa punya hati betul2 fragile skg..mudah betul give up sama org... urmmm ...tp we manage to handle it... he made effort to call at night during our day ...despite of the fear that bad thugs might peek around... and we talked for minutes and i could happily go to sleep..

:) happy monthsary jeremy 

struggling with life here...  kerja sama client yg amat amat bikin geli and annoying is not easy. i dont know.. maybe land surveyor dept suma la dia punya ba... rules and stuffs suma dia yg atur... our own boss nda pernah sama sekali bising pasal kerja kami which i think is already satisfying but this one old witch memang suka cari masalah cari kesalahan n etc yg negative....emang dasar unta la... hoho...

our contract has been shortened and we are going to end it up at the end of november. but me , and another two friends are called to the HQ to attend the training there... kalu lulus ituh training... .kami keraja lagii ...kalu inda...memang caucincau sudah la... 

but ...different situation is... 

i'd planned to go far far far from this sad sad sad place if i can.... sa nda bule ouh tinggal sini kekeh... sakit kepala sa teringat benda yg sakit sakit... haahhah... budu . 

everywhere has a memory , every place and every song yg selalu sa hadapi di sini ... .

and moreover.... MIA is vey much enuf with prangai c LANA.... she cannot stand to be a hypocrite no longer/....and yes she told her boyfriend about it.. 

so that is why .... sa betul2 perlu jalan. 

kalu tidak...sa stick dengan keadaan yg sussahh mau ubah kiri kanan dia.. 

f im not your mother i dont live everyday to pamper you ... i dont want to live my life with hatred towards person like you..bule ada high blood bah kalu hari2 sakit hati.

yea perhaps she could be her bruder's girl but not a huzmate ... Mia cannot stand low hygiene punya org. seriously . and susa kalu urg yg nda ble terima teguran... .kena tegur terus mau masam muka n sakit2 hati ... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh !

but i wont blame.. maybe itu suma bermula dari ajaran keluarga and amalan d rumah .. kan ?? and sa nda tau la...maybe sa terlampau terbiasa apa mummy sa ajar pasal hygiene matter tu la sa jahat sikit kalu bab yg ini ... maybe yes being as friends... tapi i realize i cant live with people with low tolerance and lack sense of respect., i cannot forget that stupid night. buu ~ minta maaf la... sa pun manusia juga. 

anyhow.... macam sa dapat juga la pigi jauh at last ... maybe dalam minggu depan... and imma be totally remote from people and surrounding... away from everything... and people that i know. 

sa pigi rehab lah dulu ... 

who knows i'll be able to be back as a new person like im looking forward to be... not this sad emo girl that im livin within myself since forever. hoho


sa rasa ini la pilihan n decision terbesar dalam idup sa pernah sa buat. 
kadang2 sa terfikir... i could leave just everything to live my new life... 
but selama ni budget seja yg jadi halangan... sa nda rasa takut juga mau jalan jauh... well maybe mau melawat dad sa di saaanna  .. kan ? urmm .. 

but yah...next week would be it. sa urus dulu suma utang2 sa di kekeh ne... urus suma yg patut then sa caucincau... sa patut ambik ne peluang la..once in a lifetime urang bilang kan.
i'll miss my friends families and memories... well missing those memories is part of moving on bah kan..

i know i should walk one step forward.. after all the devastation that life has given to me.
life made me lost so much to gain so few... but i will try to give a thousand reason why i still could smile over it. 

thanks for the people that have hurt me and ditch me and abandoned me and betrayed me. they were all my motivator... tapi yg sa paling appreciate sa punya kawan2 la.... terutama yg tau jalan cerita sa.... dorg walaupun ada masalah sendiri tp nda pernah nda bagi sa support to move on.. dyveline, ain,cila,esee, vievie, dieya, grace lee...nantong, bee bee, daphne, ,clizn, ayumi, eyla, pet, and others... my tommy boy friends, and guy friends.... sa sayang ne smua org ...nda sa dapat buat apa pun mau kasi tunjuk yg sa appreciate... tp if i could be happy after what they'd told me to do, then thats mean sa nda kasi sia2 tu nasihat durang.. 

haha... maybe its a little too late to realize after all ...satu tahunnn wooohhh... genap satu tahun sa sakiiiiit memanjang... kalu ini pun orang cakap sa nda bagi cukup peluang... sa pun mau kasi muntah darah dulu la...tgk tu  tukang critic dapat idup lagi ka nda kalu jadi sa.. sa jadi budu ba satuu tahunn ... hahaha... memang bduu ... budu la ...tapi sa tau sa terlampau sayang tu lah sa sanggup btahan . hekhek... *kiss myself* i'd worked way too hard for it .. kan sean ? biar org yg kita syg tu happy sma life yg dia pilih .. its his lost. not me. 

wewh...but i need to work hard on my new relationship la...eventho we've owned each other ... but still effort should be applied onto it... susa juga kalu idle2...sa jera suda. 
jera suda dgn benda yg tak kemana... sa sayang tu family but apa kan daya sa sendiri macam bayang2 seja... 

hurm ...betul oh...sa bukan bebeh , banyak kekurangan...gandut lagi ... wkwkkw...tapi sa bersyukurrr sebab masih ada yg mau hargai sa... 

hehe 

tapi sa nda mau expect apa2 la ne.. biar seja tu flow macam itu .. .ada ada...teda ,teda la... kan . 

i met somebody .. 
 and his name is deyl .
i named him like that. 
he really is an amazing friend. ada dreadlock and yea a good person. he always being supportive to me and jeremy.. i feel glad.. 
i just glad ..meeting new people that actually cares and really being my motivator.. 

there's never a right time to say goodbye

thank you all , k ?

wow.. mcam farewell pula ne...hehe sa pigi rehab seja ba... 
duii ini pun mau bagitau ka..aiya kalu ada c chabey sini...sa salamm oh sama dia sebab mau thank you sama ni budak pasal dia suka sindir2 sa ba dulu ..pastu mau show off show off... besa la kalu budak kan ...hot stuff lagi.... kalu dia nda buat gitu kan...nda kali sa ada hati batu macam skg... kodou bilang kalu dusun . 
sa kasi halal seja pa dia suda buat. pa lagi yg kazen sa punya gulpren ...sa kasi halal seja hypocritism dia., 
n suma la haters sa... sudah la tu yg dulu2.... kamu telan la tu org...sa nda mau high blood oh gara2 sakit hati seja.. lol.. 

ah sudah la...penat sa mau jaga hati org ba.. hati sa ni hancur mancur suda.. betul . fuhh ...square room yg sa idam2 mau tingal lama2 pun terus sa teda mood bah.

kerja lagi ka...pusing2 bah tu gaji ...teda pun dapat save bagi sama mummy sa... hoho ...sa mau try nasib la d tpt lain... wish me luck ^^

tapi im sure... one day my rezeki will come.. i just need to have faith in God and myself.. and effort... bukan mau minta la..tp if me and jeremy werent meant  to be together pun sa rasa sa bule idup suda..sebab ini bukan pertama kali .. ngee palis2... 


hahha wewhhhhh so much to talk about ohh ... yg penting sa nda dapat suda blogging la ... tu jak ... n fbing and all ....gonna be freakin busy with life then .. 

so , have a blessed December 2012 everyone... 

hugs and kisses from me

SHONEYCA <3