back home.

today after work i'm coming home to my house. Since 31st pula tu i stay at i.p... Sa beli ikan lagi hari nie... Ehe... Ni kali lagi banyak berbanding yg sebelum ini. Kesian tu ikan yg dulu sa teda jaga baik2 trusss jadi arwah... RiP fishes...

Erm... There's a reason why i going back here... I wanna have some space between me and him... i hate my self for being so not me. Hoho..

I know he need spaces juga ... 24hr menghadap sa... Boring lah tu. I m sure chabey them also wanna spend time with him even at night. Sa budu ba... Sa suruh lagi jin bwa pi rumah, kasi jumpa ja sa cakap... Budu kan? Even i know i might naik gila... Tapi sa penat main ne game. All those tears laugh and hypocricity... Duiii im growing up not getting childish,, i dont understand why guys are hard to be matured thinker, ... Sa mauu betul benda ni suma jadi nitemare seja. But this is real life.

Friends told me, have a self control of ur own mind. Stop being so farking soft hearted. Coz things wont change ..

Well, thing is... Sa sayang dia.. Its hard to act when our heart still wont want stop..

Macam mana bergaduh teruk teruk pun, either me or him , still will find each other back ...

But with this condition now... Sa imagine if those othr girl is in my shoes... Dorang nda rasa mcm budu ka tu? Sa rasa gara2 sayang, sa jadi orang yg jarang guna function rational thinking sa... Rather than peduli hati sendiri , i rather being a puppet. -budu kan??

Hurmmmm... Msti after hantar sa, he'll be seeing that other girl. Ba... Good luck ja kamu ahh...

Time keja tadi... Sa laju2 buat keja coz mau balik awal. Lajuu sampai target tu melebihi yg sepatutnya.. Proud of myself..

Cerita di tempat keja x pandai habis2. Since sa praktikal, sa dapat pengalaman yg kalau kita dalam comfort zone, ada jak orang yg nda puas hati...

Ada jak orang yg mau kasi jatuh kita,,, mum ever told me, no matter what setting of environment are we in, we need to be down to earth and never forget who we are. Dalam hal keja,sa rasa sa kadang2 pandai panas sendiri if orang tu kacauuu comfort zone sa... Susa mo control emosi. Tapiii...satu hal yg sa nda bleh elak ,Jealousy. I believe every girl / guy do have ths kind of emotion..

Even ajin spent whole time with me, each time he took 'his' time suda, jealousy is there, macam tu volcano yg suda masakkk mau keluar muntah lagi...

Herm... Friends told me to open my heart to other guy... Lols... Sa rasa ... Sa rasa la... I rather have a tommy boy than a real guy. Tu la... Sa nda mau.. Silap lagi. Dont wanna break othr heart..gilakk... Urm... Am i being too obvious? Yea. I am... Sa gila. I know. When all this madness gonna stop? no idea.

Sometimes i could imagine tat this is gonna end and he will be far from me. I dont like the thought bt i know, always expect problem over happiness.

So maybe .. I can . Hoho .

Eishh merapuuu jak keja. Tadi me, sis dieya n ajin , having dinner by eating kfc.then crita2 skejap...then sa urus ikan...there are ten of them semuanya.. Simpan dalam container besar,, ehe, siookkk tengok ikan. I love fish as pet. I even love to eat fish..

Haha

Now we baring2 dy.. He went home shortly after dinner..

So tomorrow zu is going back to study, early in the morning, sa nda dpt ikut .. But the whole month spent time with her n sis miku , is happy moments. I cannot imagine if i lost contact with them. Sa sayang dorg mcm siblings sendiri.. tp mana dapat ramal future kan.. Hope she will have a good trip.

Rainy night. Sejuk lagi. I think i wanna watch my pets and im off to bed.

Sorry la sa merapu teda filter2 lagi.,sa gilak suda. Huhu.

Goood nite