Blogging tonite

I got alot and alot aand alot of things to say. I dont know where to start and how to begin. Im happy and sad at the same time now.

Ok  so maybe imma do it this way. One story per paragraph. Lol. . Like doing essay



So...here goes nothing ^^...

#my life as in my daily routine :
▶ as an employee of a full time job.... im takin full time of 14hours of working daily. Yes . I am a busy busy busy person now. Im lack of time to chill and to relax.  Life.pushes me to do so. Talked to mummy recently. She complaints bout her needs and prob. I was sad becuz  i dont know how to help her that time. But i determined to work full time o.t every day... so i could help her.  Its alrite if my other priority need to be put aside. Family first.

friends at work :ohsemm . They were great and having them in my life merely fulfilled my empty heart and thus not making me feel so lonely after all.

Take pics with them every day and laugh with them .

I just loved them .without them i dont know how am i going to bear my work ...stressful and stuffy. I have been working seven days in a week since last week. Multitasking ... its tiring as fuck i can tell. Becuz everytime i reached home. I fall asleep on the floor. Im a dead panda .sleeping without bothering what am i sleeping on  

. .

So yeah thats my routine. 

#my life after work ^^

▶ I spend time at home with my wifeys. Eyca and vee. These two ladies are the closest to me now. Whatever things we are together. Even we fought sometimez. So here is the part that i wanted to tell . About somebody called diana. So yeah we were close close friends before. We share things and talk like siblings and we had lots of thing in common.its like your other half. I sayang her as much as i sayang myself.but here is the thing. After that slight chatfight conversation which i had already apologized becuz i am truly sorry for what had happened ..she said... kasi limpas lah tu... so okay.. and i thot she was okay with me. But dafuq that we met. She TREATS ME LIKE A DOG. I TRIED TO TALK TO HeR AND YEA NOT EVEN A SINGLE SENTENCE COME OUT FROM HeR MOUTH. she treat me as if wind blows by her. She even give me that look. That mad eyebrows look. So okay. As i knew i did my part.... its okay if ppl like her cannot tolerate at all. childish as a matter of fact. So to be fair enuf... since i felt like being a dog to her... so i decided to put her away from my life.  I forgave her and take the blame about what had happened. But i wont entertain people who actually displease me and wasting my time and giving hatred towards me. I think this actually make her happy kan.  Becuz i can feel so much hatred of her to me.so yeah. Another human become a total stranger to me. Sokay. Life is so so short to even bother about ppl who give me a fuck up feeling. And yeah now my.life continues... daily routine chillin with wifeys and yeah spend my life with these blessings.

I decided it that way  .

. I realized that some hard feelings do occur but we all love our friendship more than our ego . I dont know bout what they think bout me. But if i have to fight people for our frenship... i would. I love my wifeys . Alot. And very much. 

#my personal life. 

▶ when im started being an emo... its spells b.o.r.i.n.g to me. Being a sad person is boring. But what the hell... im just being myself. When im happy or when im sad.no need to hide my true color.im a grown up already. It depends on people whether they can tolerate with me or not.

So as months passed by.... i had myself a crush. The one im talking about in my previous post.lol. he is somewhat a special guy to me. And never in my life ever ... met any guy with personality like him before. Yeap... i had a crush . So the thing is ... we became closer than friends but never yet declare or whatsoever. So i assumed that im the only one who had that vibe and not him  . Its alrite.tho. but... since his problem came and lingers around...we started to have shyt. And yea its becuz of another girl.ughhh... so the funny part is that... everytime i told myself not to find him and suddenly he look for me first.And when we had a slight fight ... each of us will see whose ego are bigger. And yes i always lose to him . I liked him so so much that i cant stand to be mad at him   for long... so.. since saturday nite till now we didnt contacted. So i was worried sick about him. And... i knelt and said say my prayer . I prayed for him and our precious lily. I dont want to lost them both but if we arent fated to be together its alrite. I dont know how to hate and i fall in love easily but i stick to one. I dont know why im being so emo that my tears drops.and as im getting ready to sleep...suddenly my phone rang.Ohh my ...it was him hahahhahahahhahahahaha ... gawdd... my prayer has been answered. He apologized to me and explained.so he actually make it up for me. I already know #neverlosthope is the key. And #appreciate. ^^ so we're good again now. I know i need to wait for his problems to be settled. I want to have lily so much i could waitt  . I believe God will make a way. Amen

#surprising moments [white ghost]

▶ i saw his car at api api centre. So fucking many times 

And i always get that slight heart attack whenever i saw his car. So i know he Has a new girl on the block . I could imagine that that gir is hugging him happily sleeping beside him or chillin whatsoever .... with him . But never again imma let myself down. I dont wanna be an option or a shadow. Not anymore. Past has taught me in d hard way to live like that now i kenoot tahan ... plus i had a new crush that become my happiness and pain in the neck now. So i told myself ...DO NOT BOTHER TO KNOW OR CHECK on him . Even if i could. His family still asks me to come over their place to hang out and  i missed them so so so much. :( but sometimes... we need to just let things go. The scar he left on me is very deep im scared it might gonna bleed again .  I moved on from him to jer and from jer to standing up on my own . Well thanks to jer i forgot alot bout my past. .. and now my crush has helped me to get my pain towards jeremy*s doing to vanish completely. Yes. Cross my heart. I felt pathethic for jer for not holding me on and took me for granted. I made mummy cried before when i made my own choice to go with jer so i think i deserves this punishment. A guy who actually really set me up alive.well what the hell . I forgive him too ^^ I prayed and wish the best of luck for them. Im just being thankful for all the memories they had given to me . #reminiscing. Memories never dies. And if someday i am gona bump into any of these two... im willing to not giving any hatred. Who know ... we might gonna work at the same place together ??kan... so im ready to live with my problems. Even to those girls ... i decided to do the same.

Tee hee ♡

So what else am i going to talk about ?? Oh yeah... bout my posts in here. ...most of them i have put in my drafts. Keep it hidden. I re read my post from a-z...all of em have no censor at all..wkwkwk impact of too much negative emotion.

So most of my post has been set to hidden now. Sokay la that..

Oh and by the way imma put my pic here as a wrap ... haha been so excited to write till i dont realized its another five hours before i need to wake up!!! Lol.

Hurm ... latest news is about the general election 13. I was overwhelmed with the  unacceptable  result but what can we do ..that fucktard laju2 pi jumpa sultan to angkat sumpah. My bottom line for him is 《DIRTIEST ELECTION EVER IN HISTORY》 ... EVEN this issue has become a world concern . I pray that the bravers will do something about it. We all wanted to CHANGE. So lets just hope for the best, aite ??^^ amen.

Hahaha ...  ok i think thats shud be a good essay by now. Please ... to whoever that might passed by and read this... do not judge me or giving harsh commentt . Do not even try to spread . This is my blog so im free to talk whatsoever  

. But ... we cannot stop or shut person's mouth. And hopefully nobody is offended 

#iownnothing.

Ciaoz