Family Day And Best Employee Award Night

hello.. 

malam kemarin2 kami ada event after kerja ...and its very tiresome... belum masuk angkat2 hamper and prizes... kemas dewan and etc.

the MDKM organized Family Day and Best Employee award Night event.

Sioookkk lah juga... cos...despite of the tiredness, we enjoyed by the performance from the staff that night. sempat lagi me take some pictures ... well... i never forget bah .

we practical members sat in one table of 10. and yeah... we wore casual attires that night... berbanding kerja time pagi . pakai baju formal mcm baju kurung etc. 

ngee... kadang2 saya tidak sangka yg time flies so fast... its been almost two months ... kami mau habis sudah itu internship ... 

after this imma go back to college , back to the all-white collar punya hidup .SIGH SIGH SIGH>.<

btw... its been a bittersweet experience... i know i'll never experience such thing anymore... lepas ni mau jadi adult sudah ...kerja sudah ... na ...jarang2 sudah mau dapat blogging kali , lol . 

i'm looking forward to that . 

Hopefully that everything is gonna be okay for me. AMEN 

My Story This Week

 

Heyp.. 

despite of every fuglytruth that i told in my previous post.... certainly i do have some little time for other things... 

this week we've been relaxing (quite) so i got some times to process all those big pictures to smaller sizes so that i could easily drop em in here ^_^ 

so, this week, as a health officer (kunun) , i've been following my colleagues and staff from the health unit to distribute the MDKM surround letter around town .

this is us when we are walking thru the sunny day . its damn hot for God sake. 

but still i kept track of everything and took some pictures and videos as well. .tee hee.. but i think i just gonna put pictures here  then.

that's what we did this week .. .actually there is more... but no pictures and not so awesome story .bhaha... lol ...

thanks for viewing me blog :p

ciaoz  

ME .

She draws every gaze in the room because she stands confidently on her own two feet because she knows that she is worth more than a one night stand, a half-baked relationship, or false promises that were never meant to be fulfilled upon verbalization. She believes that life is too short for wasting time on a man that isn't there for her in the long haul. She is ME. And she is YOU

:: I AM AN ASIAN,A MALAYSIAN AND A SABAHAN GirL :::

~₪ typical ,simple, and low-profiled

~₪ taken by someone doesn't exist

~₪ Good at smiling, best at crying 

~₪ A Game Addict

~₪ Food-lover, Chocolate is all-time-fav

~₪chubby, ain't fat, just chubby ,no comment ^^

~₪simply me, naughty ,nice, annoying and friendly

~₪Love Animal 

~₪Family first, then Loved ones, then Friends

~₪Less time for study, More time for Games

~₪A Hater TO My Haters

~₪A friend to who deserves 

~₪ A Soul-mate to The one

~₪ a Student for a college

~₪ LOVES Fireworks (very) ,Beach, ,sunsets , and Home sweet Home

i learned the hard ways that i cannot always count on others to respect my feelings . Even if i Respect theirs. Being a good person doesnt guarantee that others will be good people too. I only learned that i need to have a control over myself and how am i going to choose to be as a person. and as to other, i can only choose if i wanna accept them or just walk away . 

I AM FEAR OF LOSING BUT STILL I ALWAYS HAVE TO ENCOUNTER IT. 

CIAOZ . 

Its you

I DID NOT LEAVE YOU.

YOU LEFT.

when u kissed that other girl .:)

Kanasai

KANASAI . 

Hahahahahahaha …shoney shoney … so this is how imma end up my life in the 20’s . 

Thank you for everything..

I don’t expect that imma cry this much . fuck . I really fell in love once again .  and hurt at the same time. Well well im so very fragile. This is my last effort and my last hope. But. Is there any hope anymore? YES . for me, there is.

Calm down sean. You can face this. Dear love , I can accept you at your best and take you at your worst. By the way, I aint 15. I am not relying on puppy love anymore. 

I don’t care who you are. I don’t care how I might gonna feel. But yeah, truly am crying while doing this. Why am I still in the mood of writing ? becuz… I don’t think there is anyone  that willing to listen to me. Crying to the max and hold on. 

…. Haha.  Shit. Saya betul2 sayang dia o. bodoh . sakit gilak . tapi sa nemaw mengalah. Sorry I can  NOT  let go. 

…all I can say to myself is that … sex is aint everything. Im not looking for someone  TO be my love rebound. NOPE. Stop thinking like you’re not matured yet. 

Its okay. Its really okay. Sa tidak mau fikir. Cos.. if we didn’t appreciate all the moments that we had..we will never know when its time for us to regret . and till that  time, I must be regretted that I let you go, kan JYE . 

Kanasai. I knew I will face this once again . why ? sebab ini lah dunia. Manusia .and perasaan.

We cannot control it. 

Kenapa la orang cakap dia jahat mcam mana pun,… kalau sudah sayang… kita anggap macam angin seja tu kan? Hahha bodoh baaaaah!!!!!

Saya ada hak kah rasa sedih ne? manusia juga kah saya ne? sya harap ada orang yg boleh jaga sy. Treat me as a human being. I don’t want friends. I mean. Not this part.
 I want somebody that I could cuddle with, hug, and share my happiness and sadness and all .

Dear love.. . if its really true pun I dont care.. I know you also don’t want it.. im the reason why. And im willing to face it.. tengok lah nie… saya ada lagi bah fikiran mau kasi terus idup … 

I ever face with an asshole that ever called me a whore a total  bitch and everything that you cannot imagine of. But now?  That person kept coming back to me  again n again. Sebab dia tau dia salah n dia tau dia tidak dapat kasi betul tu keadaan. though i even have mistakes pun i will face it and settle it then if i cant i'll live with it. Jye, cant you see i am sincerely willing to be with you ?

As for me… I took all my sadness before and turn it into a solid feeling and now this. This is my last last last effort that I’ll put on love. Cos I don’t know if I can face this thing once again .HEARTBROKEN. please . get it off my life. 

Lepas ni kalu saya gagal lagi .. bah … totally sa tidak taw suda lah bah . apa itu  ehl ouv ve ee 

I don’t see you as someone that people label as … *** . you’re somebody that I want. I want everything that you have . I mean you are what I want. Before kita kenal pun , you sure  have your own dark story kan .. I know its hard for any of us to let go or change in to someone new. 

Saya sudah pernah ada relation yg bertahun2. Maybe that’s why I have to learn how to love again. Sebab saya sudah biasa kena buat macam anjing . 

This time I don’t wanna let myself to fall down again .i wanna be the happiest  homosapien ever be . PLEASE,be with me can ? 

If im standing alone… then …  so be it .i cannot force too much . sooner or later pun if that person wanna abandon me, sure they’ll walk away . 

Sakiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit gilaaaaaaaaaaak !!!!!!!!!!.

 sakit sakit sakit sakit. Kenapa saya tidak pengsan ni. Kenapa tidak koma kah . hahahhahaha kenapa sy perlu rasa ini ? pakiiewwww … bodoh . eh mnyumpah  sudah bah .. .bah eya la… 

Maybe this is what im fated to be. Saya kebal sudah ni . 

Tidak kisah lah bah tu . apa seja tu . haha . bodoh . saya sayang bah ini orang. Sayang n cinta dia lagi . duhh . 

If I die kan . I want . I want.  God to bless my tomb . cuci la dosa sa. Sa tidak dapat sudah ni angkat lagi apa2 obstacles yg DIA bagi . I mean this part . not another heart break . God please don’t let me face this alone. Kalau ya pun , U send me one pet kah …one moment yg can boost up my self esteem kah … kan ? tulung bah .saya belum mau mati ouw..

Tapi sakit betul oh kan ? hahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahah IM HEARTLESS BAH remember. Saya bowleyh hadapi ne. boleh . eyah boleh . 

*JYE

Sad, need a REMEDY :((

It’s funny to think back about it. Its funny to even know how to think about it.

It’s funny to meet certain people in certain phase of life but with the same characters. Where it can ditch away so easily, and threw the relationship so easily.

Its funny to know and realise that i am one of those pathetic girls. Victimized by the feeling of neglection and being unwanted. Tho i wanna quit being such an emo but no, my life is surrounded by the elements that causes me as one.

And yeah, this is sucks. My life sucks. I lose my everything yet i am still alive. What’s more can be worst than this ? Mummy, strikes, daddy, strikes, loved one, strikes. Friends? Well, they don’t really comprehend. And yet im the kind of person that don’t really like to talk about personal thingy if it comes to a friend that was just it. Even if you’re close enuff to me as friend, still i will consider to talk about it.

I think i am cursed to be forever alone then.

Boo hoo hoo ~ no, am not crying. Being heartless is such a wonderful gift. I can only fret and feel super upset.but do i have the rights to feel it ? Does anyone care ? Hello ? Nope. Nobody’s home.

I couldn’t sleep so well and perhaps i cant  even call it as sleep. Lol.

Insomnia. Being there for me, once gone, now it came back. Even how tired i am, stil i can stay up in the middle of the night and doing absolutely nothing but just think,think,think. My questions is why do people never think of their mistakes, but very good at putting all the blames on other people? Why do people that i met get easily get gone ? Is it me or they just mentally retarded ? Do they never know how to appreciate love?

By the way, what is this thing called love anyway? I don’t know. I don’t even know what it is anymore.

Blah . Fuck that.no matter how i tried. No matter how firm i hold on.or stands up for my relationship, it goes Poofhhh ! G.O.N.E

BYE BYE . YEAH. A COMMON WORD FOR ME. Buh BYE. Wahahahaha….. I think I am worth to be foreve alone. Yeah . stand alone. Meet new friends. And get going on . move on. Blah. I hate you insomnia. Just fucking leave me alone would ya ?


I don’t wanna think if people are leaving. I don’t even wanna regret the thing I had done with any. Things happened for reason. And to my boyfie, jye, if you weren’t so ego or being that proud of ur self, take a little time to feel how its like to be in my shoes. Well, I think you don’t even have those time. You got such an amazing life there. I envy you . well thanks for not being there. I wrote stories about us, who knows it was such a short chapter in the story of my life? Or is it not? Lol .

But I still loves you.

Yeah fuck life. Fuck it much. Everybody’s a fool and a wiseman and never really uses their brain.

Im outta here. Ciaoz.

SIGH

Heyya ….

im awake now. Well actually since the past 3 hours ago. And its 12 am now.

This day is really not a good one for me. I end up alone in my room, feeling so messed up. There is a very big feeling of loneliness in me at this moment. I don’t have anybody to talk to.well merely my loved person is not around.

I blamed on her just now. Why would she do this to me. Its just that… when she is busy I tried to comprehend. And when she sleeps or tired I tried to understand.

And when she is awake, I was hoping that she’ll spend some time with me, but instead, she went out with her friends telling that she is going busy in that period.  What’s more, I haven’t been talking to her ever since she left for KL.

I don’t know. Am I asking too much ? or did she just forget that I need a little more attention from her. When we met, everything goes smoothly and well sometimes when she is asleep I was still there awake and I push myself to sleep beside her so that I wont waste my time finding things to do or flirting around.

But really, I do need a little more of her, this is true confession tho. I don’t like the feeling of being neglected. I don’t like when its only me that have to understands everything and she didn’t. Please stop acting like u don’t know how its like to feel ignored.

For real, yeah she did texted me, telling what she does ; sleep, tired, got home, goes for bath, going out, eat and that’s it..

She did said those words. and she did said she missed me. But that was it.

Oh I don’t know. I don’t wanna complaint much but I just don’t feel that you were around .

Not after we met last week. Yeah that was a blast of a little time. And yeah I missed that.

Now we’re apart again. And just so u know. I feel so very lonely at this moment while you, you asked me to sleep and you went out with your friends.

I do understand that you seldom meeting them and you wanna spend some time with them .  but do I have to ask every time whether you already have time for me or not? That sucks.

Why do I have to ask thing that you already know you can give me without me asking for it?

F.

forget this. Maybe I just think too, WAY too much till I burdening my own heart feeling and emotion.

Yeah being alone is not a new thing for me. I can cope. I can be it. I can stop asking .and just understand you. Don’t worry. As long as I am still here, I mean ‘HERE’ for you, I won’t ask for anything much from you. Not anymore.

JUST. REMEMBER. I’M A Human With True Feeling too .

*music is my only remedy now. Since I don’t have anybody to tell and to text to. And I read my Bible book just now. Psalm 23 and John 10, its about Good Shepherd and lost hope. Thanks to the concern of a friend in fb J

IM OKAY .

Ciaoz . nite.